“In life you cannot be a spectator watching from the sidelines, there will come a time when you have to participate in this game called LIFE to CREATE the life you want/desire to live” ~ Shana
Ok, this is day 2 doing this online dating thing… now what? I’m at work now and I cannot check the messages that I have been receiving. Honestly, it’s a bit overwhelming and slightly intimidating. After work I will take the time to review the messages and this can be a good place to start.
Now, I’m home and it’s time to turn on my laptop which seems like an impossible task at the moment, lol. The little butterflies are fluttering inside of my stomach. Here I go, I’m almost finished typing in my password and there is no turning back Shana (of course there’s a way out, I can shut off my laptop, sorry as I digress). Now, I am reviewing the messages that I received… and let me log on into the other website. I think I forgot to mention in the previous blog that my friend Cherry signed me up on 2 dating site, smh (shaking my head), that Cherry is something else I tell you. Anyhow, I saw a few profiles that sparked my interest and replied to a few. So far, I prefer this website over the other one, but, it’s still early to dismiss the other dating site. I have to admit that I was having fun browsing through the profiles and then the butterflies went away.
As I was browsing through profiles I became inspired to adjust my profile. My friend Cherry initially set up my profile, which was somewhat of a template for me. I made a mental note to update my profile by adding my voice, which I’ll do tomorrow. Then I had a moment of quiet introspection about my 30 days journey. Again, I told myself that if I am going to do this, I need to be fully committed to this process despite fears or any insecurity. The only reason I may feel these things because I am doing something new and different and have to make adjustments for this new normal. In the words of Albert Einstein, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
As I continue looking through profiles, I received a message from someone and he asked me to text him my number so we can talk/text. I don’t know why his request rubbed me the wrong way and I thought to myself… ummmm…NO! First of all, there’s a difference between being assertive vs. aggressive; and why are you asking me for my number without introducing yourself 1st , chat online 1st, and it’s after 11pm that translates to deal breaker. Maybe, I was tripping, but, in that moment it triggered something in me that caused an emotional flare up. Before, I send a reply I was trying to think of a response that would be diplomatic, straight to the point, and yet gentle. Then I thought to myself, just write! I think my reply captured the tone and what I wanted to express. I said something to the notion that I do not feel comfortable giving out my phone number to I just met (literally) online, however, we can talk online. I guess he didn’t like my reply, because he pulled a “Houdini”, which I’m glad that he made himself disappeared instead of me blocking him. A part of me wanted to re-evaluate my actions and did I do the “right thing”, then I tried not to overanalyze my action and I was at peace with my decision, which is the only thing that matters.
Heart Moments
- When you try something new, it will or it can feel uncomfortable initially and this is normal. Think of it as a new shoe that you haven’t fully broken into yet. The more you wear it, it begins to form your feet that will fit and feel a bit more comfortable walking in it.
- Don’t be afraid to express your truth (in a respectful way) and try to second guess yourself too much when you make a decision. People may not like it, but, you cannot get into the habit of being to concern of what others think. As long as you are at peace with a decision that is what matters.
- Take some time out to self-reflect on the reason(s) why you do the thing(s) that you desire. I find in these moments a spark of inspiration or clarity comes forth.
*Heart Moments: Are reflections from the heart from the lessons that I learned during my experiences that can serve as tidbit/take-away wisdom as reminders for ourselves.
Shana Love Coaching 