You may be wondering, how can an emotion that feels so unpleasant lead me to love? Regardless of your marital status, whether you are married, divorced, single parent, widowed, coupled, or single. Most of us have experienced loneliness in one form or another or currently experiencing it. I want to give special attention to the single men and women reading this and those who coupled are welcomed to read on. If you are a single person, you may have entertained the idea that entering a relationship maybe the “cure” to your loneliness. Or the ache can show up when you are surrounded by others couples; question from loved ones “why are you still single?”; or “when are you going to get ‘out there’ and start dating, again?”, or your self-limited mind chatter can be holding you hostage. In addition, some married couples and those in long-term relationships can experience loneliness as well. It’s possible that loneliness can exist within a romantic relationship. How is that possible? You may be wondering.
Loneliness is not necessarily base on external factors; it’s an internal emotional response that signals us to look at something a bit closer. Just like physical discomfort, it’s an indicator that something is requiring our attention to explore what is causing us pain or discomfort. Sometimes, based on the severity of a physical discomfort we may choose to ignore it or go see a doctor/specialist to further examine the possible root cause of that discomfort. Unfortunately, it’s not the same when we are dealing with our emotions. Most of the times we have the tendency to suppress certain emotions, because, it feels so uncomfortable and very yucky (yes, I said yucky). Instead, we may distract ourselves with other things to gain temporary relief. But, then loneliness will begin to rear its ugly little head again. Then we repeat the same cycle of feeling the uncomfortable emotions, suppressing the emotions, and seek temporary relief. What if that ache is pointing you to something that you have been ignoring that can lead you to the clues of the love that you truly desire?
As a single woman I know and understand the feelings/desires of wanting to be in a true meaningful romantic relationship. Also, I could have been in a relationship already, but, I know what it means not to settle. There was a time when I thought I was destined to be single. I don’t mean to come across as being single is a life sentence, lol. But, that was becoming my mind-set at that particular time; and the possibility of remaining single seemed to be in my favor. At that time, I couldn’t see the possibility of being in a romantic relationship that I truly desired or the other option would be to settle in an unhappy relationship. There were times, when the stings of loneliness felt heavier than others.
Thankfully, the more I grew in self-love those aches began to lessen. The desire to be in a true meaningful romantic relationships seemed very possible, and, the anxiety around it faded away. Also, the amazing side effects of self-love gave me a different perspective of love, relationships, and realize the infinite possibilities of my overall life. Currently, I’m in a place in my life that I’m grateful for those aches of loneliness, because, it led me to a deeper self-discovery of myself and on the path of self-love. If I had continued to ignore those aches, which, are signs that try to get our attention. My life would probably sound like replays of sad sappy old love songs. The aches of loneliness requires you [us] to take a deeper look at yourself and its asking you [us] to get real, raw, and honest about what we truly want and desire in your [our] life to see favorable results.
My challenge(s) for you, the next time when the ache of loneliness shows up in your life, do not shy away from it.
– What is that ache showing you or pointing to?
– What if that ache is helping you uncover the true beauty that already resides within you?
– When you go towards the ache, it begins to lose its power it has over your life.
Sometimes those aches can be used against you by keeping you in your comfort zone. Because, you are always avoiding and not facing it. The more you continue to bury yours emotions, the harder it can be to see new possibilities. Going towards the ache, is stepping out of your comfort zone that can lead you closer to the experience (s) that you desire. I must admit that it takes a lot of courage to face the things that makes us uncomfortable, but, that is the only way to truly overcome fears. It is beautiful gift that is wrapped up in a hideous wrapping paper (I know, weird analogy). Instead of treating your ache of loneliness as your arch-enemy, it can become your best ally in LOVE!
If you are ready to get out of your comfort zone to explore something new. Please don’t hesitate to schedule a complimentary love assessment (30 mins) with me.