Encouragement, Life Transitions

Liminal Space: Are You Experiencing Living In The In-Between?

Liminal Space: Are You Experiencing Living In The In Between?


The term “limen” comes from the Latin for threshold, it is literally the threshold separating one space from another. According to Merriam-Webster, it is defined as, relating to, or being an intermediate state, phase, or condition.

Other Helpful Definitions

  • Relating to a transitional or initial stage of a process.
  • Psychological Terminology– Being in the liminal space means you’re in between life phases.

Right now, you may be experiencing a minor or major life transition. You may feel like you are on the threshold of your new beginning, yet, feel like you’re in pending status. This life phase can be very frustrating and unsettling, especially when you are conscientious about what you want in life. You have been intentional in all of your efforts and taking necessary actions. Yet, the feeling of stagnation, with no movement happening and wanting to move forward. It seems like all of your hard work and efforts are in vain. Which indicates you are currently experiencing living in the in-between phase. You are in transit, a literal transition, leaving the old person and transforming into the NEW person you are becoming or leaving an old place and entering a NEW place. Overall you are embarking on a NEW life journey. 

Your liminal space is preparation for your NEW, during this chrysalis phase. Unbeknownst to you, during this phase, you are undergoing a series of changes, and developments in this seemingly motionless state.  Maybe, you have overlooked an important step, which could have been the missing piece(s) to move you forward, or this life phase is a growth opportunity to increase your faith muscles. Or simply a learning lesson on how to live in the surrender. Sometimes, we want to rush the process and want things to happen on our timeline. When it doesn’t happen due to setbacks, obstacles or it’s simply not time. Instead of continuing to push ahead, slow down and be still to reflect on this in-between phase.  


During this time, it is important to be flexible and to be gracious with yourself. Remain optimistic about the forward movement that’s happening in your life. If you catch yourself getting impatient or restless, this is an opportunity to cultivate and practice inner peace. You are leaving the old and entering your NEW.  You will reach your destination and experience your desired outcomes. Your liminal space is a friendly reminder that you are on the cusp of a breakthrough. Get ready to step into your new beginnings and continue to TRUST THE PROCESS.

Food For Thought:

1) What are you learning about yourself during this phase of life?

2) What thoughts and/or feelings are you experiencing during this phase (being in a state of inertia)?

3) How can you reframe being in your liminal space and embrace the uncertainties in your life?

“He has made everything beautiful in its time…” Ecclesiastes 3:11

Stay tuned for part two (2) of this Liminal Space series…

Romance On the Web Posts

Rest Restore Renew

Happy NEW YEAR 2023!

How is your new year (2023) going thus far? Every new year, you and I hear or see the same social media posts, “new year, new me”, lol. Oftentimes, it may start off that way with good intentions, yet, it is often short-lived. However, how can you make this year more intentional? If you haven’t already, maybe, it’s time for you to reevaluate a different approach. I think it’s a great start to learn to become more intentional about what NEW experiences you want to unfold in your life.

I know the past few years have been very challenging for many people in every area of their lives. A lot of individuals have experienced or currently experiencing burnout and feeling the weight of the world. Few have experienced multiple life transitions back to back and it feels like you cannot catch a break. At this point, you feel like you are just surviving and merely existing. The uncertainties of your personal world may have you or someone you love on edge. So many of you are feeling heavy stresses that are related to finances, health, emotional and mental. I want to encourage you with the following words to provide some assurance that your current life circumstance can improve for the better.

REST RESTORE RENEW

Every year, I have a personal theme for the new year. My personal theme is REST RESTORE RENEW!

  • Rest: Peace of mind or spirit (noun). To be free from anxiety or disturbance(verb).
  • Restore: Give back, return. To bring back to or put back into a former or original state. Implies a return to an original state after depletion or loss.
  • Renew: To make like new. Implies a restoration of what had become faded or disintegrated so that it seems like new.

REST

The word REST and Restoration has been coming up for me since last November (2022). I kept hearing that there is REST in RESToration. Many of you are experiencing or have experienced several unrests in your personal lives and witnessing certain unrest in our world.

Also, if you are considered the “strong one” among your family/friends, which, can be very emotionally and mentally draining. Or you are a person who is accustomed to doing ALL “by myself or on my own”. It may be a challenge for you to ask for or receive help when offered. Because you believe that you have to be “strong” all the time. Whatever, your personal circumstances are, I can guarantee that you are unconsciously neglecting certain areas in your life. Lay down the emotional burdens that you are carrying around in your heart; and the worries that are keeping you up at night. I’m here to tell you that it is time to REST.

What does REST look like for you? What areas in your life if you received support that would help ease any burdens or reduce burnouts. Become intentional about this and really reflect on how can you experience REST in those areas.

RESTORE

The past few years have been challenging since 2019, specifically, when my mother passed away unexpectedly. Grief is an interesting process and each year has gotten more manageable. In 2020, while still navigating grief, we were hit with a worldwide pandemic. The whole world was in timeout. I considered it a divine timeout, because, we ALL had to be still and the world slowed down. A lot, of people, had an opportunity to review and reevaluate their lives. Many learned what they truly valued, and everyone had to face the hard truths about themselves or their relationships and overall “wake-up call”. In 2021, the world began to gradually open up and I gradually adjusted to my new normal. In 2022, things in my life started to become lighter (emotionally), and certain life transitions became more manageable and my relationship with God grew stronger. Which, 2023 is the year of RESTORATION in my personal life.

Maybe, the last year or a few years have been challenging and times you felt like giving up. Yet, something deep inside you knew that you had to continue to persevere despite the outer appearances. Because your inner visions of a better outcome and remembering the promises of God is keeping you throughout the personal challenges. Whatever, your personal reasons you choose to continue to persevere. May this year, you’ll experience RESTORATION in every area of your life. Whether time, hope, joy, love, peace, confidence, health, finances, family, relationships, and the things you lost or abandoned. Will be RESTORED in your life and continue to believe that things will get better in your life.

RENEW

After the restoration process, you will feel renewed and experience a new version of yourself. Because, you have been restored to your original design, God’s design. Your self-image has been RENEWED. Now you see yourself from a more empowered place vs. a disempowered place. The old you has been transformed that you hardly recognize yourself. Keep in mind that it may take a mental adjustment to get used to the NEW you and others may need time to adjust to the NEW version of YOU.


Let’s Connect!

I hope this blog post will inspire you, rekindle your passion, and reconnect with yourself if you felt disconnected or detached. You don’t have to continue to struggle by yourself. If you continue to do the same things from last year, you and I know what the results will be. If want a NEW outcome, it will require YOU to do something different. It is time to invest in yourself if you have neglected yourself or been doing things on your own.

I am here and ready to support you in taking steps toward the NEW YOU!

Let’s Connect: Click Here

Romance On the Web Posts

YOU MATTER!!

If no one ever told you or haven’t heard this in a while … YOU MATTER! I hope this encouraged you in some way or at least make your moment seem a little brighter. That’s all I want to say…

💖If you need someone to talk to, contact the Lifeline at SuicidePreventionLifeline.org or call or call 800-273-8255 in the United States. Outside of the US, check the site or Google for local resources. 💖

Romance On the Web Posts

Two (2) Special Offers For A Limited Time!

At this time of year, it can be easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of holiday shopping. While you are out shopping for everyone else, don’t forget to pick up a gift for yourself. When was the last time that you bought something for yourself that can enhance your inner beauty? Oftentimes, purchases are made to enhance the outer appearances, and our inner often gets neglected in the process. By investing in a coaching session will be a gift that will keep on giving. This season choose to do something different. LIBERATION from self-imposed beliefs, self-limitations, low self-esteem, can allow you to In order to give & receive LOVE more FREELY.

I’m offering two (2) services that we will Explore and Identify why you feel “stuck” help you gain more insight/clarity to move forward in Love! Learn how to stop holding yourself back by shifting your love mindset to create a NEW LOVE STORY.

Love Breakthrough Session:

• 45 min Love EXPLORATORY call.

• Focus on the ONE area (regarding LOVE) that you are inquiring about to gain more insight.

• Limited offer: $25 (Value $97)

Love Jumpstart Session:

• 90 minute INTRODUCTORY coaching session.

• Includes a mini worksheet to complete for our coaching call.

• Limited offer: $50 (Value $197)

This is a time sensitive offer that will end on November 30, 2017 on midnight (HST).  Are ready to make your LOVE INVESTMENT to get clarity in your love life?  Sign up 👉🏾 HERE and let’s connect!

Romance On the Web Posts

What Does It Mean To LOVE Yoursef🤔? (Article Link👇🏾)

I read an AMAZING article that describes “what does it mean to love yourself…”. It’s a great reminder that self-love is a FOUNDATION for EVERY relationship. CLICK HERE to read the full article and please share your thoughts.

Romance On the Web Posts

I Relapsed😏…

Recently, I relapsed and overdosed on SHAME, DOUBT, Self-CRITICISM. At times, I tried to stop the thoughts and feelings of inadequacy from overflowing, but, it overpowered me and left me defeated. This internal tug of war began to play on my Psyche as I slowly began to entertain the idea (s) that maybe “I’m unlovable”, “will I truly become successful? or fulfill my dreams?” ,“maybe, I should just give up”, and etc. In that TEMPORARY moment of despair, it’s was easy to get tangled up in fear that dimmed my personal outlook on life. Which can seem like there’s no hope, perpetual feelings of emptiness, or nagging thoughts of “ I’m not enough”.

Thankfully, a little still voice snapped me out of my “train of thought”. I’m grateful for “random” encouraging texts/emails, social media posts, laughter of a child, unexpected surprises, and music as a friendly reminder of who I AM!

Sometimes, series of disappointments or seemingly rejections has the potential to make the heart grow weary, if you allow it. When you are in the right head space, one can see “failure” as an opportunity for growth. Sometimes, certain shake ups or abrupt changes occur to get your ATTENTION to WAKE UP! RUDE AWAKENINGS can seem really scary in the moment and is an indication for CHANGE. YOU may be being nudged to move out of your comfort zone to EXPAND🕊, to grow 🌱DEEPER, and EVOLVE in L💗VE. TRANSFORMATION is a prerequisite for GROWTH. Your natural tendency is to resist & the fear of change can make you feel like your W🌎RLD is falling apart, when actually, it can be falling into place.

During my relapse, I was only seeing things ONE way, however, I learned a deeper meaning. When I remembered who "I AM", it SHIFTED my perspective. Though, my immediate circumstance didn’t change, I gained a different meaning to my of my situation.

Overall lesson, when you feel triggered (emotional), it’s your unconscious mind trying to get your attention. It wants you to become aware of something. Possibly an old pattern that is no longer serving you.

Love Nuggets
✨To recover from a emotional relapse, allow yourself to feel your feelings (don’t stay there too long)
✨ Explore/Assess it those thoughts and feelings are true about you
✨ Change your story

Romance On the Web Posts

         5 “AHA” Moments From My Whirlwind Weekend!

1) Expect The Unexpected

“It’s better to be prepared for an opportunity and not have one than to have an opportunity and not be prepared” ~Whitney M Young

My whirlwind weekend began with a simple phone conversation with a close friend of mine. This opportunity came about from seconds of hanging up the phone when I asked “what are you doing next weekend, are you working?”.  My friend asked if I was available to help with her event in Oakland,CA and I said “Yes, I’m available!”. The next thing you know, the following weekend I’m on the plane to California to support my friend,connecting with AMAZING women, deepening my friendship bond, and enjoying the San Francisco scenery.

The moral of this experience is, when opportunity knocks open the door.  If the opportunity that is presented to you feels right, don’t get too caught up in the “HOW”.  Also, don’t be afraid to say YES to yourself. 

2) Residue of Self-Sabotage…Exposing My Hidden Blind Spots 
This is where I experienced most of my “aha” moments. When you have supportive friends in your life, they will tell you the TRUTH with tough love (in my case).  Not the “harsh truth”, just enough fire underyour tail to wake you up a bit. My friend and I had a great deep discussion, and realized certain aspects of myself risen to the surface– residues of self-sabotage. In that moment she helped me to become aware of my blind spots. Especially, in the area of how approach my business.  Though I’ve made progress and growth in this area.  At times, I’m still playing small, not honoring my worth, and drowning out my own voice through the voices of others.


It’s great to have supportive people in your life who want to see you grow and prosper. They are not afraid to give you “though love” when necessary, which, can cause inspired actions to help you move forward. 


3) Be PRESENT… Go With The Flow 

This was one of the major lessons that I learned from the time I arrived to San Francisco till my departure. Literally, from beginning to end this was my underlying message. When I landed at San Francisco airport, “MY PLAN” was to meet up with a good friend (Atlanta) of mine who lives in Oakland, before heading to the hotel.  Due to time restraints we had to rearrange our plans to possibly reconnect before my short visit.  

I called Uber to pick me up from the airport (SFO) to Oakland, when I got in the car, the driver stated he doesn’t go to Oakland. He cancelled my trip, due to rush hour traffic on the bridge would take about over an hour to CROSS over the bridge. I called my other friend (hosting event) to inform her that I’ll stay in San Francisco and meet at the book tour.  She got us tickets for Danielle LaPorte book tour ( Hot White Truth).  Then afterwards, we took pictures with the author,autographed our books, and tried Brumese food for first time.  

Overall, my only “agenda” I had was get on the plane to California, go to book tour Friday evening, help at friend’s event on Saturday and anything goes from there. The funny thing, my last day in San Francisco, I got up EXTRA EARLY to leave the hotel by 6:30am.  I called an Uber driver that was estimated to arrive around 11 minutes, then it turned int 15 mins, then it turned into another 15 mins and then FINALLY! The driver was arriving 3 mins away, then I received a message that driver CANCELLED my trip and charged me! What!!!! I tried not to be pissed, but, the good thing was that my flight didn’t leave till 10:45am. Thankfully, I was way ahead of schedule.  Fortunately, I got another Uber driver that was already in the area less than 5 minutes and was a pleasant experience.  

Moral of this experience is just go with flow, be present and live in the moment. No need to get bogged down by the past or caught up in the future, because, it can steal the valuable moment of the present.  
4) Time Out, To Tune In 
This whirlwind trip shook up my mundane routine that I needed.  My time in San Francisco was a great balance of work and play.  It was great time for self-reflection to shed light on my current circumstance that shifted my perspective. As a result, I gained deeper insights, clarity, and plans of taking inspired actions.

Sometimes you need to shake up your mundane routine and get out of your comfort zone.  You gain valuable insights that can provide a different perspective or result.  Make sure that you schedule some time for self-care to unplug.  It’s important to take time out, to tune in. 


5) Getting Clarity 

The overall outcome of this whirlwind expedition lead me to CLARITY!  I felt this experience was a sneak peek of my upcoming summer retreat.  This is possibly a taste of the few women can experience on this “island getaway” to get the necessary clarity they need.

If you feel stuck or stagnant implement number 4 on this list. Once you receive the clarity, make sure to take the inspired action (s) that will create a SHIFT within yourself.

To Learn More About My Upcoming Summer Retreat…

Join Me On The Call: On Saturday, June 24, 2017 at 9am (HST); 12pm (PST); 3pm (EST)

Sign up here 👉🏾bit.ly/Islandgetawaycall

Join Me In Jamaica 🇯🇲👉🏾bit.ly/selfloveretreat2017  

Romance On the Web Posts

YOU Are Worth The WAIT! (Great Article)

Alejandra QuirozNothing I’m about to say is revolutionary. It’s all very basic—common sense for your heart. But it’s important nonetheless: There’s no shame in waiting. So stay single until you find a relationship worth fighting for. This relationship exists. It might find you when you’re 16, 22, 34, or 57. It might knock on your…

via Stay Single Until You Find A Relationship Like This — Thought Catalog

Romance On the Web Posts

🎭The Mask You Wear 🎭

To mask or unmask… that is question🤔? The PERSONA is the mask that YOU wear. We ALL wear a 🎭 MASK 🎭, it’s our representative that people see and how they PERCEIVE us upon the initial encounter. Based on how YOU want others to perceive you, is the image you’ll PROJECT to the world. The PERSONA we take on is socially acceptable, it’s not something that in unpleasant. The truth is that we all wear a mask, because, it’s a necessity to socially navigate in our society. For some (including myself, initially) didn’t like the notion of that, because, this may imply being “fake”, “inauthentic”, “not being true to yourself”. However, as I examined further of the function of the PERSONA, it began to make more sense. Wearing a mask is not a bad thing per se, however, the difference lies between if a person is conscious vs. unconscious of the MASK they are wearing.   
What “difference lies between … conscious vs. unconscious”? If someone is unconscious (unaware) of the MASK they wear by default they may believe it’s their “true” identity; one who is conscious (Self-Aware) of the MASK they wear knows that it serves as a purpose and it’s not their “real” identity. I hope I didn’t lose you at this point, if so comment below. Hopefully, this makes sense with the aspects of conscious vs. unconscious regarding the PERSONA.

So… how does this relate to the work that I do you maybe wondering🤔?

When meeting someone for the first time our natural tendency is to put our “best foot forward” and making a great “first impression”. When we do this, it’s not being fake, we’re just showcasing or highlighting the best aspect of ourselves. This concept is displayed when going on a job interview or on a first day. As I mentioned previously, the PERSONA is socially acceptable and pleasant. However, if you keep perpetually living from this space to meet other people’s expectations to feel “accepted”, while, suppressing the REAL YOU just to show face. If you are not careful, living life on the surface may result in feelings emptiness, loneliness, boredom, resentment, or emotionally unfulfillment, or come across as “shallow”.

In addition, you maybe hesitant to let certain individuals (good intentions) to get to know you on a core level or get close to you, because, you maybe afraid that if they get to know the REAL YOU, they may not like you or reject you. Therefore, it’s easier to wear a mask to keep up the façade when you first met. Oftentimes, when this happens a person’s insecurities flares up and their SELF-SABOTAGING behaviours may unfold. Which may play out in a form of being deceitful (for self-perseverance), perform disappearing acts (stop call/text/contact) or other knee jerk reactions to keep themselves protected/guarded. These types of behaviours or logic seems twisted, however, it may serve a purpose to the individual. TRUST this is NOT an excuse for a person’s less than ideal actions, however, it’s brief insights of how (unconsciously) self-sabotage or holding yourself back can prevent you from experiencing a greater life & LOVE. Whether it’s with yourself and/or with someone else. Ideally, it’s easier to be authentic if surrounded by others who accepts & allows YOU to BE YOURSELF!

Free LOVE Assessment 👉🏾 bit.ly/FREELOVE30 (30 minutes) 👈🏾