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🎭The Mask You Wear 🎭

To mask or unmask… that is question🤔? The PERSONA is the mask that YOU wear. We ALL wear a 🎭 MASK 🎭, it’s our representative that people see and how they PERCEIVE us upon the initial encounter. Based on how YOU want others to perceive you, is the image you’ll PROJECT to the world. The PERSONA we take on is socially acceptable, it’s not something that in unpleasant. The truth is that we all wear a mask, because, it’s a necessity to socially navigate in our society. For some (including myself, initially) didn’t like the notion of that, because, this may imply being “fake”, “inauthentic”, “not being true to yourself”. However, as I examined further of the function of the PERSONA, it began to make more sense. Wearing a mask is not a bad thing per se, however, the difference lies between if a person is conscious vs. unconscious of the MASK they are wearing.   
What “difference lies between … conscious vs. unconscious”? If someone is unconscious (unaware) of the MASK they wear by default they may believe it’s their “true” identity; one who is conscious (Self-Aware) of the MASK they wear knows that it serves as a purpose and it’s not their “real” identity. I hope I didn’t lose you at this point, if so comment below. Hopefully, this makes sense with the aspects of conscious vs. unconscious regarding the PERSONA.

So… how does this relate to the work that I do you maybe wondering🤔?

When meeting someone for the first time our natural tendency is to put our “best foot forward” and making a great “first impression”. When we do this, it’s not being fake, we’re just showcasing or highlighting the best aspect of ourselves. This concept is displayed when going on a job interview or on a first day. As I mentioned previously, the PERSONA is socially acceptable and pleasant. However, if you keep perpetually living from this space to meet other people’s expectations to feel “accepted”, while, suppressing the REAL YOU just to show face. If you are not careful, living life on the surface may result in feelings emptiness, loneliness, boredom, resentment, or emotionally unfulfillment, or come across as “shallow”.

In addition, you maybe hesitant to let certain individuals (good intentions) to get to know you on a core level or get close to you, because, you maybe afraid that if they get to know the REAL YOU, they may not like you or reject you. Therefore, it’s easier to wear a mask to keep up the façade when you first met. Oftentimes, when this happens a person’s insecurities flares up and their SELF-SABOTAGING behaviours may unfold. Which may play out in a form of being deceitful (for self-perseverance), perform disappearing acts (stop call/text/contact) or other knee jerk reactions to keep themselves protected/guarded. These types of behaviours or logic seems twisted, however, it may serve a purpose to the individual. TRUST this is NOT an excuse for a person’s less than ideal actions, however, it’s brief insights of how (unconsciously) self-sabotage or holding yourself back can prevent you from experiencing a greater life & LOVE. Whether it’s with yourself and/or with someone else. Ideally, it’s easier to be authentic if surrounded by others who accepts & allows YOU to BE YOURSELF!

Free LOVE Assessment 👉🏾 bit.ly/FREELOVE30 (30 minutes) 👈🏾

Romance On the Web Posts

Day 24 (30 Days Of LOVE Affirmations ™ )

Today’s Affirmation:“I Honor Myself by Speaking the TRUTH with LOVE”

Have you ever dreaded a conversation that was necessary? However, not all conversations carries the tone of “being the bearer of bad news”.  This also pertains sharing exciting information or news (e.g. saying “I love you” to someone). Whether you want to share something that is exciting or uncomfortable, a bit of hesitation can be present when delivering your TRUTH.
In my experience, the challenges that I often encounter are more about HOW should I deliver my TRUTH, rather than expressing WHAT is my TRUTH.

Regardless if you have a challenging time telling your TRUTH (suppressing how you really feel); how to deliver the TRUTH (being tactful, without sugar coating); or receiving the TRUTH ( being in denial)

As cliché as it sounds, the TRUTH really does set you free.  Not carrying around an emotional burden can be released by being truthful.  I usually share with people, you have to be honest with yourself first, before you can be honest with someone else.  At the end of the day, the TRUTH circles back to you.

What do you want? What do want in life? What do you what for yourself?  what do you want in a relationship?
Oftentimes, people have a hard time being truthful with themselves, yet, which makes it more difficult to become vulnerable with someone.  In order to grow in this area, the TRUTH begins with you

LOVE Nuggets
–  As long as you are sharing or expressing your TRUTH from a place of LOVE…that’s all you need.

– Telling or hearing the TRUTH can be painful in the moment, yet, it’s better than an lie.
– Embrace your authentic self it’s a way to honoring your truth. 

– Telling the TRUTH can liberating, which can teach you to let go of fear, judgement, or rejection from others and yourself.

– Remember to let your TRUTH be accompanied with LOVE in every situation.

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New Year, New Me!

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I know some people start off the New Year with great enthusiasm and an optimistic outlook.  And there maybe those few individuals who view the New Year as another day and don’t get into the “hype”, because, they may believe people’s enthusiasm are short lived.  Those few individuals may not see the difference about a New Year, because, they may view each day as a new beginning.  From that perspective, I can resonate with that sentiment. However, there is no harm to start the NEW YEAR with great enthusiasm, optimism, and positive outlook!

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Wow!!  What can I say about 2014… it went by so quickly! I must say 2014 has been a very, very, very transformational year for me. I had major internal shifts, aha moments, valuable life lessons, seemingly disappointments. However, through all that transformation emerged a BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY– my AUTHENTIC SELF!

What I’m grateful for 2014…
* My family, friends, and LIFE!
* Cultivating AMAZING friendships
* Started my coaching business
* Still amazed at times that I live in Hawai’i
* I felt like I grew deeper in self-love & self- acceptance.

As we begin another year, take this opportunity to reflect on 2014 and what you envision for you life in 2015!

Here Are A Few Suggestions On How To Begin
Take a piece of paper, a journal, draw, or whatever suits you.
Then ask yourself these 5 questions:
1) What Was I Grateful For In 2014?
2) What Have I Reaped or Manifested in 2014?
3) What Have I Learned in 2014?
4) What Did I Leave Behind in 2014?
5) What Am I Envisioning For 2015 ?

May 2015 be the year that you will continue to grow in your GREATNESS!!

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Embrace Your Authentic Self! (BE YOURSELF!)

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It can be emotionally draining to wear a mask to please other people at the expense of not living your authentic self.  To live like someone else, living by other people’s expectation, or the constant comparison of yourself to others can be exhausting.  This is not to say that we should not help people or go out of our way to make someone feel special.  Also, I’m not talking about selfishness.  We can still do those things without the cost of compromising ourselves.  I believe that too often we burn out by over extending ourselves for others, whether it’s in a relationship, job, family, or etc.; while neglecting to nurture ourselves in the process.

WHY?!…

  • Why do you tend to live by other people expectations?
  • Why not be who you were meant or created to be?  Is it fear of rejection of not living the life that you want/desire? 
  • Do you tend to hold back or dim your light, because, you are afraid to stand out or shine?

We have the tendency to become resentful towards others when we feel like our efforts or love have gone unnoticed, and probably beat ourselves up for being such a giving person. Where is that resentment and self-defeating chatter coming from? Is it from the disappointment of not receiving the appreciation of others, because, you are living up to their expectation (s); and in return they are not meeting/ fulfilling your own expectation(s) that’s anticipated?  It is my personal opinion, when a person decides to be and live their authentic self on a consistent basis, it may leave little room for resentment or disappointment from other people.  Because, being authentic keeps you detached from other peoples’ expectation or opinion of you.  By not allowing the other person to have power or control over you, is living in your POWER!

Tips For Living More Authentic!

  • Develop healthier personal boundaries.  This allows either parties or more to know where everyone stands, which will allow everyone to be on the same page.
  • Be truthful with yourself!  Before you can be honest with anyone else, you have to be honest with yourself first.
  • Do not deny or suppress your feelings.  Learn how to communicate how you feel openly and constructively.  Use “I” statements, instead of “you” during conversations.  For example, “‘I’ feel like…, instead of, ‘you’ make me feel…”
  • In the same way you want someone to give you the freedom to embrace your authentic self, allow someone else the freedom to do the same.

The cost of not embracing your authentic self only shrinks the true self that continues to reinforce the false self.  Your authenticity allows you to give freely from the heart without expecting anything in return.  Which in turn, you are not attached to people’s actions or opinions that they have towards you.  Because, you will begin to learn not to take things too personally, and allow the other person to express themselves regardless how they may perceive you. TRUE FREEDOM is embracing your authentic self!  The more you live like this on a consistent basis; things, circumstance, or people that irritate or annoy will soon fade (or not have the same effect as it used to).  Hopefully, by living your authentic self can be an opportunity for the others to begin to look at themselves and begin living their authentic self.  My hope is that authenticity will become contiguous and it will free people up to live the life there are truly meant to live!  I hope that you found this helpful and hopefully you will find the courage to begin expressing the authentic YOU!

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