Romance On the Web Posts

Are You In Love Limbo?

Hello Beautiful People!

I am a Certified Creative Love ™ Coach and my overall goal is to help clients to grow more in SELF-LOVE in order for them to gain more clarity in life, love, and relationships.  If you are a single man or woman who is exhausted playing the date game and ready for a true meaningful romantic relationship; and refuse to settle, because, you know that TRUE LOVE IS POSSIBLE!  It can be emotionally exhausting where other areas in your life are flourishing, except in the area of LOVE.  Or if you have seen some improvements, however, you feel like there is some hidden residue(s) that is keeping you in love limbo…

Are You In Love Limbo…

* Have you given up on love, due to past failed relationships?

* Do you desire to be in a romantic relationship, however, a part of you is afraid of getting hurt again?

* Do you tend to self-sabotage relationships when it becomes serious?

* The thought of having a true meaningful romantic relationship seems unrealistic, and tend to settle for less than what you are worth?

* Do you think it’s impossible to receive/welcome love, because you been single for a long time?

* Are you successful/accomplished in other areas in your life, and seem to put your love life on the back burner?

* Are you tired of the same type of person (e.g. emotionally unavailable) keeps showing up in your life; and sometimes you feel like something is wrong with you?

* Are you ready to make changes but don’t know where to begin?

If you resonated with any of the following statements, please do not hesitate to sign up for your complimentary love assessment (30 mins).  This exploratory call can help you to begin to uncover the hidden areas that may be hindering your LOVE growth.  It’s time to make your LOVE life a priority!

Sign up for YOUR Complimentary Love Assessment !

love

Romance On the Web Posts

ROW: Day 4 (7/17/14)

Today was somewhat a mellow.  I was not really in the mood to actively check my email or surf the web.  But, I did notice that I received a few messages from the dating sites.  I told myself that I would check those messages on Friday or Saturday.  Any of those days will be a better to spend time to actively engage in this process.  Today I feel more reflective and came to some insight about this newfound journey.  I am actually proud of myself of doing this!  Not in regards of “finding a man” or “seeking a mate, but, I realized it’s about personal growth, taking risks, and having faith.  I really understand this is more about the process or journey, rather than the outcome.  Each day is another discovery about self !

I’m actually looking forward to what new and exciting insights that I’ll learn about myself.  Then I got the thinking, how does this relate to “romance on the web”?  Well, it is helping me to actively engage in my 30 days commitment.  If I can do this, anyone can!  Especially, for those individuals who resonate with my previous philosophy of “online dating” (semi anti-online dating/ not a big fan of online dating). If you are someone who is reluctant to online dating, but, there is an inkling of curiosity to try… I think that should give it a try!  It’s only for 30 days!… you may surprise yourself!  I cannot believe how much I have learned about myself in 4 days!

Heart Moments

  • Don’t be afraid to take a risk.  If you been playing with the idea of online dating, give it a try.  If you are still hesitant and a part of you want to try it, think of it as a trail membership, try if for 30 days, lol.
  • Find a friend or someone who trust who will give you sound advice and will be your personal cheerleader during this process
  • When you decide to do the online dating, remember, that you don’t have to actively engage every day.  There will be times you want to chill out , not in the mood or have some introspection.

*Heart Moments: Are reflections from the heart from the lessons that I learned during my experiences that can serve as tidbit/take-away wisdom as reminders for ourselves.

Romance On the Web Posts

ROW: DAY 3 (7/16/14)

Today I updated my profile and it felt good!  I spoke with my friend Cherry and shared about my updated profile, she congratulated me.  Also, I mentioned the minor situation yesterday with Mr. “Houdini”.  Cherry stated that it is not unusual for people to ask for phone number to text/talk.  I stated that I understand, however, it also depends on the person and the context of a situation.  “Mr. Houdini” did not greet himself or initiated to chat online 1st ;he bypassed “common courtesy” protocol and I was not cool.  Cherry was trying to see the best of both sides of the situation.  Also, I think she wanted to make sure that I was keeping an open mind about this online dating process (just my thoughts).   I did share with her that for someone’s 1st time doing this online dating thing, that his approach can seem a bit overwhelming, that’s all.  Cherry understood my perspective and I reminded her that I have to take baby steps.  One thing that I learned, you have to go at your own pace and do what feels comfortable for you.   As long as you reach or fulfill the goals that you set out to accomplish.

I picked up a friend from the airport and we were catching up with each other.   I told her that I started online dating and how my friend Cherry encouraged me to try it.  I told her that I’m trying this for 30 days and see how things unfold.  My friend asked  “Isn’t the goal to find a relationship?  I stated “yes”, however, I see online dating as another venue to meet people.  Of course, I am ready to be in a long-term relationship, however, I’m taking a light approach to the dating “getting my feet wet” by getting to know different people.  I am new to this whole “online dating thing” and after my 30 days experience I can decide to continue or not.  Depending on my experience, if it’s good then I may decide to continue; if it’s not my “cup of tea” then I am finished.  Overall, I do not want to get attach to the result or the outcome. There will be times when I may feel uncomfortable by being stretched out of my comfort zone.  And that’s okay!

I know that many people have their own views, philosophy, approach, and/or style to online dating.  I’m just sharing how I view online dating in my world.  If I connect with someone, I will welcome the opportunity to explore a relationship.  I am enjoying and trusting the process by BEING IN THE MOMENT.  And if along this journey I stumble upon a beautiful treasure in the most unlikely place, I will gladly receive it.  Who knows?!   It may be possible to find someone to share this journey called life with…

Heart Moments

  • If you are new to online dating or contemplating if you should.  Just remember to go at your own pace. As long you meet or fulfill your personal goal that is all that matters.
  • It’s great to have expectations, however, don’t allow yourself to get to attached to the result or outcome.
  • Remember to enjoy and trust the process, be in the moment, and have fun!

*Heart Moments: Are reflections from the heart from the lessons that I learned during my experiences that can serve as tidbit/take-away wisdom as reminders for ourselves.

Romance On the Web Posts

ROW Day 2: 7/15/14

In life you cannot be a spectator watching from the sidelines, there will come a time when you have to participate in this game called LIFE to CREATE the life you want/desire to live” ~ Shana

Ok, this is day 2 doing this online dating thing… now what?  I’m at work now and I cannot check the messages that I have been receiving.  Honestly, it’s a bit overwhelming and slightly intimidating.  After work I will take the time to review the messages and this can be a good place to start.

Now, I’m home and it’s time to turn on my laptop which seems like an impossible task at the moment, lol.   The little butterflies are fluttering inside of my stomach.  Here I go, I’m almost finished typing in my password and there is no turning back Shana (of course there’s a way out, I can shut off my laptop, sorry as I digress).  Now, I am reviewing the messages that I received… and let me log on into the other website.  I think I forgot to mention in the previous blog that my friend Cherry signed me up on 2 dating site, smh (shaking my head), that Cherry is something else I tell you.  Anyhow, I saw a few profiles that sparked my interest and replied to a few.  So far, I prefer this website over the other one, but, it’s still early to dismiss the other dating site.  I have to admit that I was having fun browsing through the profiles and then the butterflies went away.

As I was browsing through profiles I became inspired to adjust my profile. My friend Cherry initially set up my profile, which was somewhat of a template for me. I made a mental note to update my profile by adding my voice, which I’ll do tomorrow. Then I had a moment of quiet introspection about my 30 days journey. Again, I told myself that if I am going to do this, I need to be fully committed to this process despite fears or any insecurity. The only reason I may feel these things because I am doing something new and different and have to make adjustments for this new normal. In the words of Albert Einstein, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

As I continue looking through profiles, I received a message from someone and he asked me to text him my number so we can talk/text.  I don’t know why his request rubbed me the wrong way and I thought to myself… ummmm…NO!  First of all, there’s a difference between being assertive vs. aggressive; and why are you asking me for my number without introducing yourself 1st , chat online 1st, and it’s after 11pm that translates to deal breaker.  Maybe, I was tripping, but, in that moment it triggered something in me that caused an emotional flare up.  Before, I send a reply I was trying to think of a response that would be diplomatic, straight to the point, and yet gentle.  Then I thought to myself, just write!  I think my reply captured the tone and what I wanted to express.  I said something to the notion that I do not feel comfortable giving out my phone number to  I just met (literally) online, however, we can talk online. I guess he didn’t like my reply, because he pulled a “Houdini”, which I’m glad that he made himself disappeared instead of me blocking him. A part of me wanted to re-evaluate my actions and did I do the “right thing”, then I tried not to overanalyze my action and I was at peace with my decision, which is the only thing that matters.

Heart Moments

  • When you try something new, it will or it can feel uncomfortable initially and this is normal.  Think of it as a new shoe that you haven’t fully broken into yet.  The more you wear it, it begins to form your feet that will fit and feel a bit more comfortable walking in it.
  • Don’t be afraid to express your truth (in a respectful way) and try to second guess yourself too much when you make a decision.  People may not like it, but, you cannot get into the habit of being to concern of what others think.  As long as you are at peace with a decision that is what matters.
  • Take some time out to self-reflect on the reason(s) why you do the thing(s) that you desire.  I find in these moments a spark of inspiration or clarity comes forth.

*Heart Moments: Are reflections from the heart from the lessons that I learned during my experiences that can serve as tidbit/take-away wisdom as reminders for ourselves.

Romance On the Web Posts

ROW Day 1: 7/14/14

Today is the official day that my profile was set up by my friend Cherry. “ I still cannot believe that I am doing this! … this seems so crazy and out of my element.  Online dating is not my cup of tea.  How in the world did I allow my friend Cherry to convince me? Or did she? Or was there a little part of me that has been curious of ‘ what if ‘ ?”   These were few of the random thoughts that were racing in my mind.  At this point in my life I decided to allow myself to be open… however, I am being open with conditions, lol.  This was the only way that I agreed try this online dating thing.  When my friend Cherry completed my profile, I was shocked that I received so many  responses/messages within 30 minutes, I was taken aback.  I was at work when I was experiencing this inner tug of war with myself.  Again the mind chatter began, “what have I gotten myself into?” and all sorts of thoughts were going back and forth about this decision.  I was fussing (in my head) at Cherry that she convinced me to try this online dating thing.  Then I tried to calm myself down and allow myself to try something new and create a new experience.

I sound crazy, right, lol.  But if you are someone like me or it’s your 1st time online dating, probably you can relate. The only thing that kept me calm was reminding myself “it’s only for 30 days and you could do it.”  Then I had a mini pep talk with myself, “If you are going to commit to this process, you need to do it wholeheartedly to get the full experience”.  Then I had an “aha” moment!  Two movies came to mind (I know it’s random) when I thought about this new journey.  The movie Julie & Julia and Perfect Combination are the 2 movies that jumped into my mind.

Let me give you all a very brief summary of each of these movies and how it inspired me to create this blog.  The movie “Julie & Julia” the main character is Julie Powell (Amy Adams).  Julie is an ordinary office worker that took a personal challenge to prepare every recipe from Julia Child’s cookbook and blog about it.  The other movie “Perfect Combination” the main character is Rick (Christian Keyes).  Rick is committed to his work and has everything going for him, except in the romance department.  Rick decides to hire a matchmaker (which is out of the ordinary for him) to help him find romance and gone through a series of dates and navigated the dating process.  You may be wondering, how these two movies fit into my romance journey… Well, online dating is very foreign to me and never pictures myself doing this, much less to blog about it (I don’t know what has gotten into me)!  Where is Shana and what have you done with her, lol…  The people who are close to me know that I am a very private person, especially, when it comes to this subject.   Maybe, I’m at a place in my life that I’m not concern of other people’s opinion and just embracing the new me, plus I am ready for love (no pun intended, India Aire )…  Let the journey begin! 🙂

                                      Heart Moments

  • I am learning that being stretched out of your comfort zone is a good thing.  Though it can be scary and you may tell yourself, “I could never!…”  try to push pass that fear.  If the thing that you fear has some inkling of curiosity or desire, then be willing to take the baby steps to TRY.  But, do not shy away from the opportunity to grow.
  • The worst thing that can happen is that I can meet great people (that’s the intention that I’m setting/holding).  This online dating journey is not solely about going out on a date or finding a mate, but, also learning aspects of myself in this process … and speaking of process, I’m going to TRUST  it!

*Heart Moments: Are reflections from the heart of the lessons that I learned during my experiences that can serve as tidbit/take-away wisdom as reminders for ourselves.

Romance On the Web Posts

My Blog Inspiration!

It all started at a friend’s spa birthday celebration.  My friend “Cherry” and I got into a discussion about online dating.  We had this conversation before and shared our opinions; I’m not a big fan of online dating.  Cherry stated that I’m “such an open-minded person and fun… I’m shocked that you would not consider online dating…” I stated something to the notion that “I’m old fashion”.  However, this conversation was a bit different and caught me off guard, because, this time I had a slight change of heart on this subject matter.  Also, to get her off my back, I agreed to give it a try.  I’m still convinced that Cherry caught me at a vulnerable time, because when a person is in spa mode, one is deeply relaxed and is on a natural high, lol.  I told Cherry that I’ll give this online dating thing a try, and then a big ol’ grin came across her face.  I said “If I do this, I have certain conditions and it has to be done my way…”  Then Cherry inquired about my terms of conditions:

  1. I’ll try online dating for 30 days.  30 days is a typical trail period when you try something new (e.g. certain memberships, try a new product, and etc.)
  2. Cherry stated that if someone sends me a message that I have to reply (of course, not to any and every one).  If someone peaks my interest, then I should reply to their message.
  3. Cherry also stated that I have to go on at least one date.

We both collaborated on the “conditions” that I was comfortable with and still willing to give this online dating thing a try.  In addition, I told Cherry that she has to set up my profile (I actually gave some else control…), because, if she left this up to me “it will not get done”; and she agreed.

A week later I sent her a few pictures for her to get started on my profile.  On July 14, 2014, my online dating profile was officially launched!  Also, my blog idea Romance on the Web (ROW) was conceived! Please enjoy the ride of my 30 days experience(s) as I navigated through the web for romance as I learned more about my SELF –DISCOVERY through this process.  Hold on, it may (or not) be a bumpy ride! 🙂

Romance On the Web Posts

Romance On the Web (ROW): My 30 Days Journey

                                 Introduction of Myself

Hello Beautiful People!

My name is Shana… recently,I go by the name ShanaLove (my web name, lol).  I’ll briefly share about myself.  I currently reside in Hawai’i and I’ve been here a little over a year and half.  Living on this BEAUTIFUL Island is so AMAZING! … At times, it is still surreal that “I live in Hawai’i”!  However, since I’ve been here, I have not been on a real date, due to work.  I have met many great people, developed great friendships, and some socializing; but, the romance department has not been active. This is not a bad thing, because the 1st year was a transformational time by default or Divine intervention, however it seems like I was on a self-discovery and self-love journey.  I have learned A LOT about myself and much inner transformation has taken place.  Early this year, I felt ready to pay attention and nurture my romance department and allow myself to be open for love to flow into my life.  With all of this being said, I would like to share snippets of my personal journey thus far about romance!