Romance On the Web Posts



This past summer, I remembered my 1st swimming lesson. I was excited and a bit nervous, but, more excited. My swimming lesson was not in pool, it was the OCEAN! Talk about being bold, lol. Obviously, I must TRUST my trainer to take that bold step. As we began, we walked into the water to get comfortable to allow my body to get use to the water temperature. Then we started off with a simple exercise, floating.  He gave me instructions to do it on my own. Then he came to SUPPORT me, which, was assuring. Then I got a mini lesson on the boogie board… the key I had to learn was BALANCE! Then my trainer began to gently push me out of my comfort zone, by removing my “cushion” (boogie board). I began to protest a bit, because, “I was NOT ready” to move that quickly. Then he said something to the notion that was simple, yet, profound. “you look real RELAXED & COMFORTABLE on the board… if you don’t allow yourself to get off the board, you will not meet your goals of learning how to swim”.  When he made that statement, it grabbed my attention. I told him that “I like how you used the reverse Psychology on me”. My trainer stated, it’s not reverse Psychology, it’s the TRUTH. He was correct; I had to face the TRUTH to get over any lingering FEAR.   Then after that moment of truth I felt less fearful and more determined. When my trainer introduced other exercises and/ techniques, I was less resistance and found myself EMBRACING the challenges that I encountered. Whether those encounters were real (losing my balance) or imagined (negative self-talk) I was determined to push past it to OVERCOME. Towards the end of our session, I was so relaxed and having so much FUN!


The overall lessons I learned were…

OCEAN= Taking a BIG step into something new. It can be scary, but, taking the 1st step is an accomplishment within itself.

TRUST= I believe that trust begins with self-1st, before, you can give your/put your TRUST in someone else. A level of trust is necessary to any process one is committed to. In short, like my former graduate professor use to say “TRUST THE PROCESS”.

SUPPORT= I’m never alone; I have the support & guidance along the way in this new venture.

BALANCE= When beginning something new, it’s normal to feel a bit unsettled and to seek balance. You may try this way or that way until you find what works for you. As long as it creates balance.

RELAXED & COMFORTABLE= I’m all for being relaxed & comfortable. However, this goes back to BALANCE. When starting something new, you HAVE TO GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE! The only way to get out that zone, is allowing yourself to be stretched. Being stretched is not pleasant or comfortable, but, it is necessary for growth and change.

TRUTH= The truth can set you free, if one choose to accept it. If not, a person may continue to wallow in fear. Most times it’s hard to accept or acknowledge a truth, because, it will require us to make a choice to change something that we may or may not be willing. When truth shows up, how will you choose to deal with it?

FEAR= Everyone has encountered fear in their live at some point, and there are some individuals that live in fear on a constant basis. Fear can have power over you, only if they allow it to. Just like truth, fear is a choice you accept. Here’s another way to look at fear, think of it as information by highlighting any insecurities to one’s awareness.   When fear shows up, how will you choose to deal with it?

EMBRACING= Whether its truth or fear embrace it, it is part of the human experience. Denying what we feel or experience will delay or hinder the growth process. Embracing something fosters self-empowerment! It gives one the courage & determination to pursue the things they desire despite challenges or setbacks.

OVERCOME= When you overcome something, it’s a result embracing one self, regardless of external circumstances. It’s the internal desire/motivation that wants you to obtain something greater than one’s current situation. It’s that inner determination & motivation pushes us to achieve our desired goal(s).

FUN= This one of the most important factor. Remember to have FUN!!   Regardless where you are in your process, a little FUN makes any journey/path much sweeter! 🙂

If you are ready to step out of land of fear and into the sea of love, please don’t hesitate to schedule for your complimentary love assessment (30mins).  Dive in to learn and explore new lessons in love!

SIGN UP FOR A FREE 30 Love Assessment !love


Romance On the Web Posts

ROW: Day 4 (7/17/14)

Today was somewhat a mellow.  I was not really in the mood to actively check my email or surf the web.  But, I did notice that I received a few messages from the dating sites.  I told myself that I would check those messages on Friday or Saturday.  Any of those days will be a better to spend time to actively engage in this process.  Today I feel more reflective and came to some insight about this newfound journey.  I am actually proud of myself of doing this!  Not in regards of “finding a man” or “seeking a mate, but, I realized it’s about personal growth, taking risks, and having faith.  I really understand this is more about the process or journey, rather than the outcome.  Each day is another discovery about self !

I’m actually looking forward to what new and exciting insights that I’ll learn about myself.  Then I got the thinking, how does this relate to “romance on the web”?  Well, it is helping me to actively engage in my 30 days commitment.  If I can do this, anyone can!  Especially, for those individuals who resonate with my previous philosophy of “online dating” (semi anti-online dating/ not a big fan of online dating). If you are someone who is reluctant to online dating, but, there is an inkling of curiosity to try… I think that should give it a try!  It’s only for 30 days!… you may surprise yourself!  I cannot believe how much I have learned about myself in 4 days!

Heart Moments

  • Don’t be afraid to take a risk.  If you been playing with the idea of online dating, give it a try.  If you are still hesitant and a part of you want to try it, think of it as a trail membership, try if for 30 days, lol.
  • Find a friend or someone who trust who will give you sound advice and will be your personal cheerleader during this process
  • When you decide to do the online dating, remember, that you don’t have to actively engage every day.  There will be times you want to chill out , not in the mood or have some introspection.

*Heart Moments: Are reflections from the heart from the lessons that I learned during my experiences that can serve as tidbit/take-away wisdom as reminders for ourselves.

Romance On the Web Posts

ROW: DAY 3 (7/16/14)

Today I updated my profile and it felt good!  I spoke with my friend Cherry and shared about my updated profile, she congratulated me.  Also, I mentioned the minor situation yesterday with Mr. “Houdini”.  Cherry stated that it is not unusual for people to ask for phone number to text/talk.  I stated that I understand, however, it also depends on the person and the context of a situation.  “Mr. Houdini” did not greet himself or initiated to chat online 1st ;he bypassed “common courtesy” protocol and I was not cool.  Cherry was trying to see the best of both sides of the situation.  Also, I think she wanted to make sure that I was keeping an open mind about this online dating process (just my thoughts).   I did share with her that for someone’s 1st time doing this online dating thing, that his approach can seem a bit overwhelming, that’s all.  Cherry understood my perspective and I reminded her that I have to take baby steps.  One thing that I learned, you have to go at your own pace and do what feels comfortable for you.   As long as you reach or fulfill the goals that you set out to accomplish.

I picked up a friend from the airport and we were catching up with each other.   I told her that I started online dating and how my friend Cherry encouraged me to try it.  I told her that I’m trying this for 30 days and see how things unfold.  My friend asked  “Isn’t the goal to find a relationship?  I stated “yes”, however, I see online dating as another venue to meet people.  Of course, I am ready to be in a long-term relationship, however, I’m taking a light approach to the dating “getting my feet wet” by getting to know different people.  I am new to this whole “online dating thing” and after my 30 days experience I can decide to continue or not.  Depending on my experience, if it’s good then I may decide to continue; if it’s not my “cup of tea” then I am finished.  Overall, I do not want to get attach to the result or the outcome. There will be times when I may feel uncomfortable by being stretched out of my comfort zone.  And that’s okay!

I know that many people have their own views, philosophy, approach, and/or style to online dating.  I’m just sharing how I view online dating in my world.  If I connect with someone, I will welcome the opportunity to explore a relationship.  I am enjoying and trusting the process by BEING IN THE MOMENT.  And if along this journey I stumble upon a beautiful treasure in the most unlikely place, I will gladly receive it.  Who knows?!   It may be possible to find someone to share this journey called life with…

Heart Moments

  • If you are new to online dating or contemplating if you should.  Just remember to go at your own pace. As long you meet or fulfill your personal goal that is all that matters.
  • It’s great to have expectations, however, don’t allow yourself to get to attached to the result or outcome.
  • Remember to enjoy and trust the process, be in the moment, and have fun!

*Heart Moments: Are reflections from the heart from the lessons that I learned during my experiences that can serve as tidbit/take-away wisdom as reminders for ourselves.

Romance On the Web Posts

ROW Day 1: 7/14/14

Today is the official day that my profile was set up by my friend Cherry. “ I still cannot believe that I am doing this! … this seems so crazy and out of my element.  Online dating is not my cup of tea.  How in the world did I allow my friend Cherry to convince me? Or did she? Or was there a little part of me that has been curious of ‘ what if ‘ ?”   These were few of the random thoughts that were racing in my mind.  At this point in my life I decided to allow myself to be open… however, I am being open with conditions, lol.  This was the only way that I agreed try this online dating thing.  When my friend Cherry completed my profile, I was shocked that I received so many  responses/messages within 30 minutes, I was taken aback.  I was at work when I was experiencing this inner tug of war with myself.  Again the mind chatter began, “what have I gotten myself into?” and all sorts of thoughts were going back and forth about this decision.  I was fussing (in my head) at Cherry that she convinced me to try this online dating thing.  Then I tried to calm myself down and allow myself to try something new and create a new experience.

I sound crazy, right, lol.  But if you are someone like me or it’s your 1st time online dating, probably you can relate. The only thing that kept me calm was reminding myself “it’s only for 30 days and you could do it.”  Then I had a mini pep talk with myself, “If you are going to commit to this process, you need to do it wholeheartedly to get the full experience”.  Then I had an “aha” moment!  Two movies came to mind (I know it’s random) when I thought about this new journey.  The movie Julie & Julia and Perfect Combination are the 2 movies that jumped into my mind.

Let me give you all a very brief summary of each of these movies and how it inspired me to create this blog.  The movie “Julie & Julia” the main character is Julie Powell (Amy Adams).  Julie is an ordinary office worker that took a personal challenge to prepare every recipe from Julia Child’s cookbook and blog about it.  The other movie “Perfect Combination” the main character is Rick (Christian Keyes).  Rick is committed to his work and has everything going for him, except in the romance department.  Rick decides to hire a matchmaker (which is out of the ordinary for him) to help him find romance and gone through a series of dates and navigated the dating process.  You may be wondering, how these two movies fit into my romance journey… Well, online dating is very foreign to me and never pictures myself doing this, much less to blog about it (I don’t know what has gotten into me)!  Where is Shana and what have you done with her, lol…  The people who are close to me know that I am a very private person, especially, when it comes to this subject.   Maybe, I’m at a place in my life that I’m not concern of other people’s opinion and just embracing the new me, plus I am ready for love (no pun intended, India Aire )…  Let the journey begin! 🙂

                                      Heart Moments

  • I am learning that being stretched out of your comfort zone is a good thing.  Though it can be scary and you may tell yourself, “I could never!…”  try to push pass that fear.  If the thing that you fear has some inkling of curiosity or desire, then be willing to take the baby steps to TRY.  But, do not shy away from the opportunity to grow.
  • The worst thing that can happen is that I can meet great people (that’s the intention that I’m setting/holding).  This online dating journey is not solely about going out on a date or finding a mate, but, also learning aspects of myself in this process … and speaking of process, I’m going to TRUST  it!

*Heart Moments: Are reflections from the heart of the lessons that I learned during my experiences that can serve as tidbit/take-away wisdom as reminders for ourselves.