Welcome Back To Day2:
Day 2: Perform a random act of kindness. (e.g pay for someone’s lunch, holding the door for someone). Afterwards share/post about what you did!
I know some people start off the New Year with great enthusiasm and an optimistic outlook. And there maybe those few individuals who view the New Year as another day and don’t get into the “hype”, because, they may believe people’s enthusiasm are short lived. Those few individuals may not see the difference about a New Year, because, they may view each day as a new beginning. From that perspective, I can resonate with that sentiment. However, there is no harm to start the NEW YEAR with great enthusiasm, optimism, and positive outlook!
Wow!! What can I say about 2014… it went by so quickly! I must say 2014 has been a very, very, very transformational year for me. I had major internal shifts, aha moments, valuable life lessons, seemingly disappointments. However, through all that transformation emerged a BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY– my AUTHENTIC SELF!
What I’m grateful for 2014…
* My family, friends, and LIFE!
* Cultivating AMAZING friendships
* Started my coaching business
* Still amazed at times that I live in Hawai’i
* I felt like I grew deeper in self-love & self- acceptance.
As we begin another year, take this opportunity to reflect on 2014 and what you envision for you life in 2015!
Here Are A Few Suggestions On How To Begin
Take a piece of paper, a journal, draw, or whatever suits you.
Then ask yourself these 5 questions:
1) What Was I Grateful For In 2014?
2) What Have I Reaped or Manifested in 2014?
3) What Have I Learned in 2014?
4) What Did I Leave Behind in 2014?
5) What Am I Envisioning For 2015 ?
May 2015 be the year that you will continue to grow in your GREATNESS!!
What if that break up you experienced, was a blessing in disguise? In the midst of that separation, you may have felt confused, hurt, and probably held a hopeless outlook of your LOVE life. Especially, if you felt like you invested a lot of time and energy into that relationship. Whether or not you were blindsided, foresaw, or initiated the break up; it’s not an easy emotional adjustment. While you are going through the emotional roller-coaster, try not to beat yourself up of multiple reasons that lead to the ending of the relationship. I know what I’m saying is “easier said than done”; but, hear me out. What if you changed your personal story around those EMOTIONS that you are feeling. You cannot change the outcome of the break up; however, you can CHANGE how you look at your situation. Have I gotten your attention, yet? If so, good! If not, continue to read.
How many times are you rehearsing, replaying the same thoughts in your mind of what happened? Are you silently torturing yourself with questions that are left unanswered; have you tried to rationalize the break up, if I would have done this different, maybe… (you fill in the blanks); or the ongoing inner dialogue of “should of, could of, would of”? Or maybe you are attached to your personal story “I’m never going to find another person like him/her.”; and you may feel like your Love life is DOOMED! Because, you believe (base on your personal story) that ONE person was the ONLY ONE that has the ability to LOVE you? Well, I say that’s a bunch of B.S.! B.S. meaning your Belief System, in regards to LOVE and relationships. It safe to assume that a person with a belief system that doesn’t reflect a HOPEFUL outlook; it’s possible to develop a tinted view of LOVE and relationships. If you can begin to change the story around your emotions maybe you can see a silver lining of this seemingly disappointment.
- What if, the break up was an opportunity for you to get back in touch with yourself, to rediscover the real YOU? It could be a personal “Time Out” (in a good way).
- Maybe that door had to close, in order for new one to open.
- It can be an opportunity to grow more in SELF-LOVE, to fall more in LOVE with yourself!
Instead of counting your loss, count your BLESSINGS!
P.S. As we are in the midst of the holiday season & as the New Year 2015 approaches. Why not give a GIFT to yourself to start the New Year RIGHT. If you are ready for a LOVE MAKEOVER, A Renewed LOVE mindset. Then join me in Las Vegas in 2015 for Creative Love SPARK Event! Click on the logo below for more info.
It can be emotionally draining to wear a mask to please other people at the expense of not living your authentic self. To live like someone else, living by other people’s expectation, or the constant comparison of yourself to others can be exhausting. This is not to say that we should not help people or go out of our way to make someone feel special. Also, I’m not talking about selfishness. We can still do those things without the cost of compromising ourselves. I believe that too often we burn out by over extending ourselves for others, whether it’s in a relationship, job, family, or etc.; while neglecting to nurture ourselves in the process.
- Why do you tend to live by other people expectations?
- Why not be who you were meant or created to be? Is it fear of rejection of not living the life that you want/desire?
- Do you tend to hold back or dim your light, because, you are afraid to stand out or shine?
We have the tendency to become resentful towards others when we feel like our efforts or love have gone unnoticed, and probably beat ourselves up for being such a giving person. Where is that resentment and self-defeating chatter coming from? Is it from the disappointment of not receiving the appreciation of others, because, you are living up to their expectation (s); and in return they are not meeting/ fulfilling your own expectation(s) that’s anticipated? It is my personal opinion, when a person decides to be and live their authentic self on a consistent basis, it may leave little room for resentment or disappointment from other people. Because, being authentic keeps you detached from other peoples’ expectation or opinion of you. By not allowing the other person to have power or control over you, is living in your POWER!
Tips For Living More Authentic!
- Develop healthier personal boundaries. This allows either parties or more to know where everyone stands, which will allow everyone to be on the same page.
- Be truthful with yourself! Before you can be honest with anyone else, you have to be honest with yourself first.
- Do not deny or suppress your feelings. Learn how to communicate how you feel openly and constructively. Use “I” statements, instead of “you” during conversations. For example, “‘I’ feel like…, instead of, ‘you’ make me feel…”
- In the same way you want someone to give you the freedom to embrace your authentic self, allow someone else the freedom to do the same.
The cost of not embracing your authentic self only shrinks the true self that continues to reinforce the false self. Your authenticity allows you to give freely from the heart without expecting anything in return. Which in turn, you are not attached to people’s actions or opinions that they have towards you. Because, you will begin to learn not to take things too personally, and allow the other person to express themselves regardless how they may perceive you. TRUE FREEDOM is embracing your authentic self! The more you live like this on a consistent basis; things, circumstance, or people that irritate or annoy will soon fade (or not have the same effect as it used to). Hopefully, by living your authentic self can be an opportunity for the others to begin to look at themselves and begin living their authentic self. My hope is that authenticity will become contiguous and it will free people up to live the life there are truly meant to live! I hope that you found this helpful and hopefully you will find the courage to begin expressing the authentic YOU!
Are you a single individual who would like be in a romantic relationship, however, you feel like your lifestyle maybe hindering your love life? Regardless of your employment status, whether you are juggling multiple jobs, work long hours, experience ongoing business trips, or an entrepreneur. I want to invite you to take a REAL CLOSE LOOK at your life and ask yourself, is there a space for LOVE? Ask yourself, “Do I make time & space for everyone else and tend to put myself on the back burner more often than you should? If you answered “Yes”, you may have fantasized, romanticized, or kept your fingers crossed for your ideal romantic partner to stroll into your life or fall into your lap.
*NEWS FLASH!* Even if that did happen, would you be READY for love if it showed up at your door, right now? Really think about it (seriously, really think about it?). I’m sure your immediate response would be a “Yes” or few responses with “maybes”. Unless, you have already created that love space then you can probably imagine the possibility of love entering your life. However, if you haven’t created a love space that does not mean you can’t welcome love in your life.
You may be wondering, Shana what are you talking about a “love space“? Do you mean that I have to go out of space to seek love, because some of the relationships here on Earth are crappy… No, that is not what I mean by love space. It is simply reviewing your life based on your day-to-day activities. Based on those activities, is there a room or space for a romantic relationship that you desire. I can assume that most of the responses will be “no”. Because, nowadays most people live their lives on autopilot and rarely check-in with themselves on how they are living. Living life on autopilot can seem pretty mundane and predictable: get up, go to work, work some more, go home, sleep, and start the same thing all over again the next day. That’s just one example, but, I hope that you get the point.
I have a love suggestion, if you are a single individual who would like to experience being in a true and loving meaningful relationship. Why not start CREATING that space NOW! Not tomorrow, one day, or someday; but NOW! Start making the adjustments NOW!, so you don’t have to make adjustments later when that special someone shows up in your life. You see, desiring to be in a romantic relationship begins with YOU! I know it seems ironic and paradoxical, but, I have found this to be true. Especially, in my own life and people I know who are in romantic meaningful relationships.
How Can I Start CREATING A Love Space?
- Take a HONEST personal inventory of your life, currently (Try not dig too deep into the past, be present)
- Once you finished with your personal inventory, don’t beat yourself up or judge yourself. If you can’t resist “beating up yourself”, do it with a feather.
- Think of 1-3 things that you can do immediately create a love space, and then do it!
- Examples for creating a Love Space: Self-Care (e.g. enjoy your favorite hobby, do something that you enjoy a.k.a ( “me” time).
- If you are a social butterfly: what areas or ways you can slow down or give yourself permission to RELAX.
- If you are a shy butterfly: consider participating or go to a social setting (does not have to be a big crowd). For example, a book club, art exhibit, or a sporting event and etc. Think of anything that may stretch you a little bit out of your comfort zone to break up any mundane routines in your life to welcome something new.
If you feel stuck, don’t know how to create a love space, or where to begin. Please sign up for my complimentary love assessment (30mins). Don’t leave your love life on autopilot!