Romance On the Web Posts

I Relapsed😏…

Recently, I relapsed and overdosed on SHAME, DOUBT, Self-CRITICISM. At times, I tried to stop the thoughts and feelings of inadequacy from overflowing, but, it overpowered me and left me defeated. This internal tug of war began to play on my Psyche as I slowly began to entertain the idea (s) that maybe “I’m unlovable”, “will I truly become successful? or fulfill my dreams?” ,“maybe, I should just give up”, and etc. In that TEMPORARY moment of despair, it’s was easy to get tangled up in fear that dimmed my personal outlook on life. Which can seem like there’s no hope, perpetual feelings of emptiness, or nagging thoughts of “ I’m not enough”.

Thankfully, a little still voice snapped me out of my “train of thought”. I’m grateful for “random” encouraging texts/emails, social media posts, laughter of a child, unexpected surprises, and music as a friendly reminder of who I AM!

Sometimes, series of disappointments or seemingly rejections has the potential to make the heart grow weary, if you allow it. When you are in the right head space, one can see “failure” as an opportunity for growth. Sometimes, certain shake ups or abrupt changes occur to get your ATTENTION to WAKE UP! RUDE AWAKENINGS can seem really scary in the moment and is an indication for CHANGE. YOU may be being nudged to move out of your comfort zone to EXPAND🕊, to grow 🌱DEEPER, and EVOLVE in L💗VE. TRANSFORMATION is a prerequisite for GROWTH. Your natural tendency is to resist & the fear of change can make you feel like your W🌎RLD is falling apart, when actually, it can be falling into place.

During my relapse, I was only seeing things ONE way, however, I learned a deeper meaning. When I remembered who "I AM", it SHIFTED my perspective. Though, my immediate circumstance didn’t change, I gained a different meaning to my of my situation.

Overall lesson, when you feel triggered (emotional), it’s your unconscious mind trying to get your attention. It wants you to become aware of something. Possibly an old pattern that is no longer serving you.

Love Nuggets
✨To recover from a emotional relapse, allow yourself to feel your feelings (don’t stay there too long)
✨ Explore/Assess it those thoughts and feelings are true about you
✨ Change your story

Romance On the Web Posts

🎭The Mask You Wear 🎭

To mask or unmask… that is question🤔? The PERSONA is the mask that YOU wear. We ALL wear a 🎭 MASK 🎭, it’s our representative that people see and how they PERCEIVE us upon the initial encounter. Based on how YOU want others to perceive you, is the image you’ll PROJECT to the world. The PERSONA we take on is socially acceptable, it’s not something that in unpleasant. The truth is that we all wear a mask, because, it’s a necessity to socially navigate in our society. For some (including myself, initially) didn’t like the notion of that, because, this may imply being “fake”, “inauthentic”, “not being true to yourself”. However, as I examined further of the function of the PERSONA, it began to make more sense. Wearing a mask is not a bad thing per se, however, the difference lies between if a person is conscious vs. unconscious of the MASK they are wearing.   
What “difference lies between … conscious vs. unconscious”? If someone is unconscious (unaware) of the MASK they wear by default they may believe it’s their “true” identity; one who is conscious (Self-Aware) of the MASK they wear knows that it serves as a purpose and it’s not their “real” identity. I hope I didn’t lose you at this point, if so comment below. Hopefully, this makes sense with the aspects of conscious vs. unconscious regarding the PERSONA.

So… how does this relate to the work that I do you maybe wondering🤔?

When meeting someone for the first time our natural tendency is to put our “best foot forward” and making a great “first impression”. When we do this, it’s not being fake, we’re just showcasing or highlighting the best aspect of ourselves. This concept is displayed when going on a job interview or on a first day. As I mentioned previously, the PERSONA is socially acceptable and pleasant. However, if you keep perpetually living from this space to meet other people’s expectations to feel “accepted”, while, suppressing the REAL YOU just to show face. If you are not careful, living life on the surface may result in feelings emptiness, loneliness, boredom, resentment, or emotionally unfulfillment, or come across as “shallow”.

In addition, you maybe hesitant to let certain individuals (good intentions) to get to know you on a core level or get close to you, because, you maybe afraid that if they get to know the REAL YOU, they may not like you or reject you. Therefore, it’s easier to wear a mask to keep up the façade when you first met. Oftentimes, when this happens a person’s insecurities flares up and their SELF-SABOTAGING behaviours may unfold. Which may play out in a form of being deceitful (for self-perseverance), perform disappearing acts (stop call/text/contact) or other knee jerk reactions to keep themselves protected/guarded. These types of behaviours or logic seems twisted, however, it may serve a purpose to the individual. TRUST this is NOT an excuse for a person’s less than ideal actions, however, it’s brief insights of how (unconsciously) self-sabotage or holding yourself back can prevent you from experiencing a greater life & LOVE. Whether it’s with yourself and/or with someone else. Ideally, it’s easier to be authentic if surrounded by others who accepts & allows YOU to BE YOURSELF!

Free LOVE Assessment 👉🏾 bit.ly/FREELOVE30 (30 minutes) 👈🏾

Romance On the Web Posts

A Closed Door Can Lead YOU To An OPEN Door!

When you allow one door (or doors) to close, another one (A BETTER ONE) will open. However, you the current door 🚪 has to be CLOSED (not slightly cracked) COMPLETELY. Before, a NEW DOOR open. I know it can be hard, however, your NEW BEGINNING awaits you. Take a DEEP BREATH 🌬 and ALLOW the NEW to enter your life! 

 Connect with me for a FREE Love Assessment: shana@shanalovecoaching.com 

Romance On the Web Posts

Are You Overcompensating?


When you believe that you are lacking in some area in your life, you have the propensity to overcompensate. Oftentimes, the feelings of inadequacy or a lack self-confidence are the culprits of making you feel that you are not enough. As a result, you may not feel competent of carrying out the work or mission that you are EQUIPPED to do. You may “over do it” to prove that you are worthy, great, or “I am enough”. I am here to REMIND YOU that are ALREADY ENOUGH, better yet, YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH! You don’t need to bend over backwards on a consistent basis to prove your WORTH to people, especially, if they don’t honor or value you. It can be so DRAINING 😫(e.g. emotionally, mentally, and etc.) that can exacerbate burnout. You don’t need to rely on external validations to showcase your GREATNESS. You maybe tempted to over give, overwork, or over share to be accepted/loved to prove to someone else that you are worthy to be LOVED. This relates to ALL spectrums of relationships (i.e. family, work, business, friends, and etc.). Please don’t confuse or get it twisted that I don’t value or encourage you to put your best efforts. I’m more concerned about the INTENTION/MOTIVATION behind the ACTION that you are displaying. Under what guise are you operating from🤔? Is it from a place of FEAR 😁or LOVE😍? Think about your INTENTIONS behind your ACTIONS to assess your self-worth. 

Know that you enough, even if you feel like you should “do” more to fully accept yourself. Cut yourself some slack and stop 🚫being hard on yourself ( beating up yourself) of having to be “perfect”🙄. It’s about PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION! It’s time to learn how to L💖VE and accept yourself as is. Then you can release any self-judgement to move freely and allow change to take place in your life with little or no resistance. Remember to TRUST THE PROCESS of the changes or desired outcomes you want to experience. Just BE, YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH!