It can be emotionally draining to wear a mask to please other people at the expense of not living your authentic self. To live like someone else, living by other people’s expectation, or the constant comparison of yourself to others can be exhausting. This is not to say that we should not help people or go out of our way to make someone feel special. Also, I’m not talking about selfishness. We can still do those things without the cost of compromising ourselves. I believe that too often we burn out by over extending ourselves for others, whether it’s in a relationship, job, family, or etc.; while neglecting to nurture ourselves in the process.
WHY?!…
- Why do you tend to live by other people expectations?
- Why not be who you were meant or created to be? Is it fear of rejection of not living the life that you want/desire?
- Do you tend to hold back or dim your light, because, you are afraid to stand out or shine?
We have the tendency to become resentful towards others when we feel like our efforts or love have gone unnoticed, and probably beat ourselves up for being such a giving person. Where is that resentment and self-defeating chatter coming from? Is it from the disappointment of not receiving the appreciation of others, because, you are living up to their expectation (s); and in return they are not meeting/ fulfilling your own expectation(s) that’s anticipated? It is my personal opinion, when a person decides to be and live their authentic self on a consistent basis, it may leave little room for resentment or disappointment from other people. Because, being authentic keeps you detached from other peoples’ expectation or opinion of you. By not allowing the other person to have power or control over you, is living in your POWER!
Tips For Living More Authentic!
- Develop healthier personal boundaries. This allows either parties or more to know where everyone stands, which will allow everyone to be on the same page.
- Be truthful with yourself! Before you can be honest with anyone else, you have to be honest with yourself first.
- Do not deny or suppress your feelings. Learn how to communicate how you feel openly and constructively. Use “I” statements, instead of “you” during conversations. For example, “‘I’ feel like…, instead of, ‘you’ make me feel…”
- In the same way you want someone to give you the freedom to embrace your authentic self, allow someone else the freedom to do the same.
The cost of not embracing your authentic self only shrinks the true self that continues to reinforce the false self. Your authenticity allows you to give freely from the heart without expecting anything in return. Which in turn, you are not attached to people’s actions or opinions that they have towards you. Because, you will begin to learn not to take things too personally, and allow the other person to express themselves regardless how they may perceive you. TRUE FREEDOM is embracing your authentic self! The more you live like this on a consistent basis; things, circumstance, or people that irritate or annoy will soon fade (or not have the same effect as it used to). Hopefully, by living your authentic self can be an opportunity for the others to begin to look at themselves and begin living their authentic self. My hope is that authenticity will become contiguous and it will free people up to live the life there are truly meant to live! I hope that you found this helpful and hopefully you will find the courage to begin expressing the authentic YOU!
Shana Love Coaching 